nate’s naraku, the blahog

today is just not going well.  i.e. frustrating as fuck.

as an example of how I feel: imagine being 15 seconds from your destination, after a 30 some odd minute commute.  suddenly, last hurdle becomes a mile long train.  15 seconds slowly turns into 5 minutes.  irritation ensues…

my concentration and focus keep breaking.  I’m back to thinking about her more than I care to.  the swimming thoughts of ponderance - ‘how, what, will’ - have returned with a force… ugh.

my dad leaves today, he’s basically been staying at my place for a week.  it’s been ‘ok’ and ‘really good’ and also testing at times.  all in all, I think I am slipping into a depressed state again.

I really miss her today.