humans are simple creatures.. we are happy when we have plans. something to look forward to. some shit to do to fill the otherwise empty moments. most unfortunately, when we are single and we have reached a pinnicle of self-improvement due to time spent in such status, we begin destructive introspection. questioning what the fuck is wrong with us and why we remain alone despite having a, b, c, x … (good things going for us.)
we all have these problems.
you are not unique, special, or different.
needs for companionship can be fulfilled by any one (though my heart begs to differ.)
…I have no plans for this weekend or the fucking 4th. I hate not having some(thing/one) special on the 4th… they have fallen apart at the seams consistently for about the past 5 years.
since I was a lil tike, the 4th of july has always struck me as wonderful opportunity for romance and I’ve somehow ALWAYS managed to be alone for it. OK, not alone *alone* but SINGLE. left to look up and on thru the corner of my eye catch those not so lonesome, with a jaded sense of dread in my stomach… ‘I better not see any kissing.’
give me firework reflections in the eyes of my love, tender touches in beautiful contrast to the violent explosions overhead. ignite the passion we share in a brilliant sky fires for all to see and hear but only we feel…OK hopeless romantic boy, that’s enough out of you now, go fuck yourself kthxbye.
honestly, I really don’t give a shit about any of it, it will happen in time, I’m just fed up with my own expectations.
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I stabbed my pinky during the team meeting with a staple remover I was playing with. I let the blood cover my finger and dry. it is still there… and odd flat pool of blood on the tip of my finger. lovely, no?
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