my downhill slope is fast and relentless… it sure would be fun to ride down physically. to begin with, I’ve been pretty “sad” today anyway - so the emotional ride down the slope is pretty fucking miserable.
I see a (slick)deal for rollerblades… I immediately think, hey! this would be fun to pick up again if a certain someone was interested in me…. ugh! then the instant later, all that we share in common flashes through my stubborn skull.
dammit all to hell, why do I continually bother to think about what could be when what *is* is ridiculously far from that!? not only that, but at this point, I would refuse to let her back in to the best of my abilities… because I don’t want to go through all this again, should she have a change of heart (take 3..) it would take some major effort on her part which the probability of is even more ridiculous than my persistent thinkings of her….
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