for me, change often comes suddenly and I am usually unprepared for it. I slump into old habits - many of which are gone for the better - for however long it takes me to recover… in the process of, I become more fascinated by passionate people as I often feel I lack it. many of these people find living life courageously natural. the drive these people exibit is interesting and generally worthy of respect. in my oft slouching state, I ponder these people: is it a passion gene, learned behavior, or hard work?
I am not good at hard work. I work smart or not at all. simply thinking about *hard work* makes me cringe. I do not like it and do not intend to ever learn how to do so. I believe I can achieve the same or greater simply by persistence - though this in itself can be considered hard… I digress.
some people make a healthy living off simply unloading their passion onto the intarnet - extroverted introverts. this concept is quite appealing to me and while feels close, has yet to be seen, as if when I open my eyes or turn my head at just the right time and direction, *it* will be there. I am becoming a believer that the universe will provide to those who make the call and are prepared for the answer, even though all I have now is faith….
firm belief in the idea of generating income and exposure while not working is fantastically rewarding. faith in creating systems that work all the time is what this era is all about. just because I have yet to create one that yielded $$ doesn’t mean they weren’t great experiences to build on - middlesyde, wildcatclassifieds, various personal sites…
I have a few goals (somewhat unrelated to my rant) :
.. further engage random people more comfortably particularly those I am attracted to; i.e. beyond an awkward two words - one sentence.
.. develop a small source of income entirely separate from my day job - I have a few ideas here - and eventually quit this (fucking) job.
.. purchase a motorcycle.
I’ve accomplished a couple other goals this past weekend.
for one, my house is no longer a place I dread returning to. I am hoping this is the first step towards creating a place to be more proactive and productive.
what empowers you to change?
…
I am freaking out at work and I fucking hate this town.
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