“You know what would be good on this burger? A ham sandwich! And instead of a bun let’s use two donuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle, here comes the donut ham hamburger!” - Jim Gaffigan

related links:
- via flickr
- the luther burger
- jim gaffigan . com
- mmm, hot pockets

Error: Error occurred while rendering portlet - see provider log file for details

no link, no nothing but an obsecure-tech riddled message with zero indication of how to remedy the issue. WTF?!

…never a good msg to get upon resetting one’s password for the HR company that handles all my personal info.

on the plus side, it appears to have worked regardless… smooth as sandpaper!

…like what an overgrown-raised-truck-that-floors-it-between-red-traffic-lights says about the tiny package its driver has, you know, where it counts. that giggle you get knowing they’re over compensating for lacking any real virtue.

presenting the smart car monster truck:

[story linky, via justinsomnia!]

is it a cell phone or a remote control? is it part lollipop too?

well, whatever it is, it is from ESPN labs. enjoy sports fans. read more ova here

p.s. this my remote, the logitech harmony 550, procured for $50:

one sentence review: it does what I want and while it occasionally fucks up a little, is overall a good thing.

WARNING: painful to watch, worse to hear; bleeding of the ears may occur…

this is the kind of overproduced trash that makes me cringe at the possibility of microsoft absorbing yahoo… (I can’t imagine yahoo allowing something as awful as this vid - not to mention Y!’s “ecosystem” is entirely contrary to microsoft’s) - it’s so bad… it’s not even funny.

first of all, wow… I can’t help but imagine how I would have handled such an experience. after going batshit crazy for a number of hours, I imagine a spiritual awakening (of sorts) and a heck of a lot of praying. I hope he was a bad man who deserved it, got his come-uppins or karma, and is changed for the better.

secondly, what the fuck?! how does this even happen today - what with a) emergency elevator-phones b) a SECURITY CAMERA; no one checks at all? c) cell phones - granted the guy was on a cig break, must not have had it on him… sheesh!

TRAPPED - The New Yorker
[ via waxy.org ]

Email body:

Hello,

I am very sorry for you , is a pity that this is how your life is going to end as soon as you don’t comply. As you can see there is no need of introducing myself to you because I don’t have any business with you, my duty as I am mailing you now is just to KILL you and I have to do it as I have already been paid for that.

Someone you call a friend wants you Dead by all means, and this person have spent a lot of money in this venture,This person came to us and told me that he wanted you dead and he provided us with your name, picture and other necessary information’s we needed about you. So I sent my boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation on you, and they have done that but I told them not to kill you that I will like to contact you and see if your life is important to you.I called my client back and ask him of your email address which I didn’t tell him what I wanted to do with it and he gave it to me and I am using it to contact you now.

Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? Since all program ahs be made and draw to kill you. Get back to me now if you are ready to pay some fees to spare your life, $15,000 is all you need to spend in this process you will first of all pay $8,000 then i will send a tape to you which i recorded every discusion i had with the person who wanted you dead and as soon as you get the tape, you will pay the remaining balance of $7,000. If you are not ready for my help, then I will carry on with my job straight-up.

WARNING: DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELLING ANYONE BECAUSE I WILL KNOW,REMEMBER, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL WANT YOU DEAD! I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY, INCASE I NOTICE SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT YOUR TELLING THE SECURITY ABOUT IT BECAUSE A GOOD LOOK IS OUT YOU AT MOMENT.

DO NOT COME OUT ONCE IT IS 7:PM UNTIL I MAKE OUT TIME TO SEE YOU AND GIVE YOU THE TAPE OF ALL DISCUSSION WITH THE PERSON WHO WANT YOU DEAD THEN YOU CAN USE IT TO TAKE ANY LEGAL ACTION. GOOD LUCK AS I AWAIT YOUR REPLY.

E-mail headers:

X-Apparently-To: ***@yahoo.com via 209.191.86.177; Thu, 06 Mar 2008 05:31:43 -0800
X-Originating-IP: [65.118.24.123]
Return-Path:
Authentication-Results: mta136.mail.re2.yahoo.com from=gmail.com; domainkeys=neutral (no sig)
Received: from 65.118.24.123 (EHLO protocolmarketing.com) (65.118.24.123) by mta136.mail.re2.yahoo.com with SMTP; Thu, 06 Mar 2008 05:31:43 -0800
Received: (qmail 31087 invoked by uid 512); 6 Mar 2008 13:31:20 -0000
Received: from 192.168.24.59 by GLUON (envelope-from , uid 11852) with qmail-scanner-2.01 (spamassassin: 3.0.4. Clear:RC:1(192.168.24.59):. Processed in 0.015608 secs); 06 Mar 2008 13:31:20 -0000
Received: from [192.168.24.59] (HELO webmail.protocolmarketing.com) (192.168.24.59) by protocolmarketing.com (qpsmtpd/0.40) with ESMTP; Thu, 06 Mar 2008 07:31:19 -0600
Received: from 74.52.166.162 (SquirrelMail authenticated user cemmtru) by webmail.protocolmarketing.com with HTTP; Thu, 6 Mar 2008 07:27:00 -0600 (CST)
Message-ID: <39646.74.52.166.162.1204810020.squirrel@webmail.protocolmarketing.com>
Date: Thu, 6 Mar 2008 07:27:00 -0600 (CST)
Subject: JUST TO INFORM YOU
From: “KILLLLLL”
Reply-to: deadlykillers61@gmail.com
User-Agent: SquirrelMail/1.4.6

Quite the phishing scheme; pray off people fear for their lives. the typos and garbled english are a nice touch, too. after checking out the source domain’s website, I’m inclinded to say their accounts have been compromised. that, or some user Cemmtru @ protocolmarketing.com is a hired killer!!!!

After a little searchin’ and found this, Police warn of e-mail death scam article that contains the very same content sent in my personal JUST TO INFORM YOU you’re gonna die unless you pay e-mail. Oh, what a relief! ;)

According to CIA public records of country government current account balances, the US is in some deep ass debt, falling behind a myriad of third world countries. Not that our debt is any mystery, seeing the a point-blank ranking of countries definitely drives the point - the Feds suck at managing our money. of course there is all sorts of controversy (scroll to bottom) surrounding the CIA itself… so who can say how accurate this ranking truly is.

Rank Order - Current account balance

Rank	Country	  Current account balance Date of Info.
1	China 	     $ 363,300,000,000 	2007 est.
2	Japan 	     $ 201,300,000,000 	2007 est.
3	Germany   $ 185,100,000,000 	2007 est.
4	Saudi Arabia $ 88,890,000,000 	2007 est.
5	Russia 	     $ 74,000,000,000 	2007 est.
6	Switzerland   $ 67,890,000,000 	2007 est.
7	Netherlands  $ 59,280,000,000 	2007 est.
8	Norway 	     $ 55,820,000,000 	2007 est.
9	Kuwait 	     $ 51,490,000,000 	2007 est.
10	Singapore     $ 41,390,000,000 	2007 est.
...
160	Italy 	          $ -57,940,000,000 	2007 est.
161	United Kingdom  $ -111,000,000,000 	2007 est.
162	Spain 	           $ -126,300,000,000 	2007 est.
163	United States      $ -747,100,000,000 	2007 est.

ultra conversative Ron Paul to the rescue (ah, if only.)

I Wanna Be The Guy is the most macochistic 2d sidescrolley-platformery-adventure game I’ve ever seen or heard of. it doesn’t appeal to me really, but I’m still fairly impressed by people who are great at these things. respect.

like this guy, he has crazy mad platformer skill:

as seen from the vid, iwbtg is inspired by games of the NES era - heavily influenced by megaman and super mario bros. but covers many other games like metriod, legend of zelda and even tetris. so in a phrase, the game is chalk full of nostalgia packed sucker punches of frustratingly challenging proportions.

yipee! can’t wait for hawaii wheel-chairs. wtf?!?!

via abrams.

I’m tired, blurry eyed, yawning, yet the mind is relentlessly seeking “accomplishment.” my project TLH is nearly ready for public consumption. I’m uneasy, because I am having trouble squelching perfectionistic urges. everything must be in it’s place. all features. blah. is the taste window too small?!? shit, maybe I should redo it. man this time ago generating thing is annoying, I *know* I don’t have to write it by hand but I can’t seem to find a proven and modular solution. ok, that’s enough random jibbajabbah. nightnight.

citibank is my first CC with rewards - free of $$ charge; free of cost however - not even close.

#1 Gripe: thankyou network is fucking pathetic.
the “reward” points you receive are approx. 100/dollar spent. ok fine. I decided to use some - 13,500 points for a PS2 - cool - about $135. I order it up on 11/20. it is now the 26th and the order status remains exactly what it was the day I placed it: “In Progress.” perhaps I need to send them a friendly reminder? oh, what’s this - no email or e-contact method whatsoever, an address and a phone #. fuuuck you!

#2 Gripe: my finance charge calculation cycle based on std purchases is *20* days. NOT the same as my billing cycle (30 days.) this underhanded practice basically forces you into paying every 20 days or else you get charged. this is the first time I’ve encountered this tactic; it is sneaky and irritating. fuck you.

#3 Gripe: seriously, where’s my ps2?! assholes.

#4 Gripe: I called citi about a month ago to inquire about changing the due date of my payments. ‘ok np’ the CSR says in a garbled D-student english tongue. I ask to have a fee removed - ‘ok np, check back with us in 7 biz days’ - wtf? apparently ‘billing’ has to look over the acct and decide if I am worthy. ok fine I say. thanks…… at which point the CSR launches into a spcheel about some credit protection - y’know, 30 days free of “id/credit protection” yada yada shit that is probably included in my account already anyway. I say no. she launches into yet another spcheel. I am polite, I say no thanks I will consider it - mistake - as this is apparently another keyword for yet another speech. I am annoyed. I said no. good bye. in short - my gripe is NO FREE CUSTOMER SERVICE - you pay with your time as they WILL TRY TO SELL YOU SOMETHING after “helping” you. fu.

oh the humanity… these mod crazy foos reconstruct an innocent fender squire guitar into a wireless guitar hero controller.

is there a market for this? probably.

the culprit blog: toolmonger - how to build your own wireless guitar hero controller

betcha not 1,000,000 miles like Peter Gilbert’s 1989 Saab 900 SPG. pretty damn impressive; only other vehicles I’ve heard going this far are old(er) toyota trucks [got a link? I can't find shit].

my bro has an early 90s Saab and he recently rebuilt the transmission, I wonder how far his will go.